[Source: Partial screen capture from hocdfree.com]
A New York website, HOCDfree.com, promises to cure HOCD, Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The product, an e-book pamphlet for a mere $12.99, in that the author claims uses positive energy in the form of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, to dissolve those annoying thoughts that you might be gay.
The site claims:
. . . So I decided to use EFT on my remaining programming. Within a matter of a a couple weeks my inner and outer behavior had been cleared of HOCD. I was free to be me. Free to flirt and date girls. Free to fall in love, and most of all free to enjoy my life. I decided when I was finally free of this that I would share it with the world so everyone else with these struggles could release and overcome them. I became a certified EFT practitioner, and have healed 7 of 7 HOCD sufferers. The longest client took 3 weeks.”
The problem:
The almost comical site sheds a quacky light on the site author. The author claims to be a certified EFT therapist, yet offers no credentials or educational background. There is no mention of what HOCD really is or what the acronym itself stands for. The same is done with EFT. Instead he simply drills on his own symptoms hoping he strikes a cord with others going through the same thing.
Perhaps the most critical point would be that the site author does a rather sloppy job of differentiating between HOCD and actual homosexuality. HOCD is the fear of being gay when one is not gay. The individuals are not attracted to the same sex but prefer the opposite sex. However, the obsession with the fear they might be gay overtakes their lives and causes some of them not to date at all.
The author’s intentions may be good, but his delivery is a bit off. Often a product is no better than its presentation. On a positive note, the site does not (in my opinion) seem to be anti-gay like some other organizations that attempt to treat homosexuality, not HOCD. Like Exodus, an ex-gay program, that charges its clients hundreds of dollars a week only to leave them more miserable than they were before.
In further research, HOCD is an anxiety and is best treated with behavioral modifications and medication as with any other anxiety disorder.
There is an excellent article that delves into HOCD a bit more. It can be found here.
Update: The site owner’s name was removed from this article at his request.
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what? I never heard of hocd until this moment. I checked out the site and i think the dude is bisexual. he checks out gay porn every night to see if he’s gay. wtf?
You have recently published an article about my website HOCDFREE.com. There is a misunderstanding here of who I am and what my website is. Now HOCD is a real form of Obsessive compulsive disorder that I used to suffer with as do countless others. This is not a “Gay cure” as I don’t beleive there is such a thing. You’re born straight or you’re born gay and you can’t change that. Whoever wrote this article misunderstood what I am doing. People with HOCD are straight people that have an OCD compulsion of worrying that there gay. Nothing more. These people know there not gay but obsess they might be. In a nutshell thats what OCD is. I have removed my website and all its content off the internet because of these alligations and lies. All I wanted to do was help people people with HOCD. You have discredited my name with this article and I please ask you to remove it from your website. Please email me back.
http://www.brainphysics.com/hocd.php
Thank You,
SO funny!
“Do you fear your gay?”
Do these people own a gay person to be frightened of?
More likely the author’s grip on the English language is as tenuous as his grip on reality.
Well I’d better get going. It seems I need to find some straight and lesbian porn to watch just to make sure I’m not secretly hetero.
If I were to have only one talent it would be how to push people’s buttons — Shame on me! But the truth is I just tell it like I see it. I mean no harm, honest!
I received the above comment from the site owner. It was actually left on the Suggest It! page so I moved it here where it belongs. His “suggestion” is not how to make my site better but how to make this post to better suit his needs. At his request I sent an email explaining that I would not delete my article. It was simply a review of his site and nothing that was intentionally meant to be personal. I’d post my email here but as you can imagine it’s quite lengthy. (I do tend get wordy at times…duh!)
I also suggested he put the site back up and just rewrite it with a more professional presentation and that would even review it again noting the changes.
I do not doubt the existence of HOCD. I’m sure it’s very real for those who experience it. There are a lot of forum threads discussing the OCD and the sufferers seem pretty real to me.
I received a reply thanking me and expressing his appreciation for my time. This time he only asked that I remove his personal identity from the article. I don’t have a problem with that. Done!
@ bearpupuk –
“It seems I need to find some straight and lesbian porn to watch just to make sure I’m not secretly hetero.”
haha… I thought the same thing when I first viewed the site.
Hey! there is no doubt that mental disorders do exist! HOCD? did he come up with this all by himself? I knew I was Gay before I knew what it was called! I played doctor with my cousins. I just liked the boys better! when I first saw porn it was my Dads playboys and I looked at the guys not the girls! If I watched a straight vido same thing! my fear was comming out and being rejected by family and friends! GOCD! I’m selling my own certified cure for only $9.99 call now!!!! Love ya Jere
@Jere -
Ring… Ring… Ring…
I hear ya man! Being gay can be a real bitch when making the decision to come out.
omg for whoever out there thinks hocd is bullshit i just have to lay ou the cards. I have hocd for 4 years now and i know that i love wemen, its called OCD because its OBSESSIONS YOU CANNOT CONTROL if u could it wouldnt be called that. Now u people may not be sure of its real but in this world the majority is mostly what makes reality true. I advise u fuckers to stop teasing about it because people commit suicide for your lame ass comments. I just think youshould be more carefull if u dont want to take some credit for someone killing themselvs. To me i dont care but i DO KNOW WHAT THIS FUCKING DESIESE FEELS LIKE AND I ASSURE U ITS NOTHING TO MOCK ABOUT. Just imagine what it would be like to hate to live under yourskin feeling something wich is your worst fears. let me give an example you know your mom is going to die or a loved one you have and u fear about it, but do you obsess about it?? no or else youd be fucking paranoid this is the same deal and from my experience my obsessions are “turning” gay even if thats not possible, but can i control it? i sure do try but u asses dont make it any better do you? when you guys have a fucking down part of ur life as low as it can be i will be right there to mock of ur fears and insecurities.. just for my enjoyment the same as you are doing
Peace
well said my friend
well said
i too am a sufferer and you people have no idea what its like, imagine obsessig for yourselves over turning striaght. costatnly obsessing over the fact everything you loved i the world could be a lie. giving up everything you ever dreamed off not beign able to be experienced ever again.
i have had thoughts of suicide over it and its hell.
and also have checked gay porn to see if i was turned on by it
you lot need to get a grip!
thank you to zomg for tellig you lot straight
Wow! what an idea ! What a concept ! Beautiful .. Amazing
@zomg –
I’m curious… As a person with HOCD if you see a really hot guy what thoughts go through your mind?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing or making fun of anyone. I just want to know. Basically I don’t understand how a person can obsess about being gay when they are absolutely certain they are not. How can something be feared when it doesn’t exist.
So, back to my question: For an HOCD male, does seeing a good looking hot stud affect his thoughts in any way? If so, how so? Is he repulsed? Does it excite him. Does he fear he’ll be excited? Etc, etc…
@Lika Starr – Very intrusive and abnormal thoughts go through your head about being gay. The thoughts are present but not the physical desire. It causes unimaginable anxiety. It racks you and torments you like any other fear or OCD behavior. A lot of people have said this is by far the worst OCD behavior and I agree. There is nothing worse than questioning something as important as your sexuality.
It doesn’t matter if it is obviously not true. The homosexuality may not be “real” but the ANXIETY it causes is. For me it’s extremely difficult because I am in love with a man and have been very happy with him in the past (we are living in different countries right now). The thing is is that it isn’t the TOPIC that is the thing to worry about, it’s the mental process behind it. Most people with HOCD also suffer from numerous other obsessions as well. Some small and others big. It’s just this is the one that the brain chooses to focus on. And because it’s so nerve racking it’s easy to keep holding onto it.
It’s easier said than done not to fear something that doesn’t exist especially when you don’t fear it. But I am sure the few people on here who were mocking those with HOCD have some fear or insecurity or even OCD behavior and I don’t think they would appreciate being made fun of for it.
Hope this answers your question.
@Kathleen –
Thank you. Yes, you did answer my question. I think I “got” it when you said, “There is nothing worse than questioning something as important as your sexuality.”
While it wasn’t HOCD for me I can definitely relate to this if I think back to my teen years fighting with my own sexuality. Not because I feared it or didn’t want it. Instead it was because of how I was raised in a religious home. Religious conditioning throughout my youth wrongly led me to believe that I wasn’t normal as a homosexual. That is what I had to fight with in my own mind.
I won’t go into more detail because I’m sure you and everyone else have heard the stories like mine over and over again. I will say that because of this I did question my own sexuality to the point it caused anxiety over the thought something was wrong with me. In fact, it consumed a big part of my young life.
I appreciate your openness and I agree with what you said about most most people have or have had some fear or insecurity in their lives. I can’t speak for others but I assume their mocking comes from being ridiculed for being who they are. There was a time when most gays that I knew were the most understanding of all people when it came to indifference. Simply because of their own suffering with intolerance from others. That, sadly, seems to be changing. I am guilty of this too especially when it comes a Bible thumper screaming in my face about how I’m going to hell because I “chose” to be gay. What I chose was not to condemn myself for being what I am – gay. That is the only choice I’ve made in regards to my sexuality.
HOCD from the perspective of a homosexual could be easily misunderstood especially in light of the recent flareup of the religious movement against homosexuality due to our own gay agenda seeking equality. Without fully understanding the nature of HOCD it almost sounds like someone claiming to be straight seeking a cure for their real homosexual thoughts. To a gay person that doesn’t fully understand HOCD their concept might be that the HOCD sufferer thinks homosexuality itself is a disease or mental illness.
Again, I’m not speaking for others. Right or wrong these are my assumptions I have gathered via my own thought process by reading the comments here as well as from other sites on the topic of HOCD.
To everyone – Thank you for all the comments on this page regarding HOCD. I have learned so much about something that before I wrote this article I knew very little about.
For those who think HOCD is a hoax or worse, a ruse to somehow treat/cure homosexuality. I am certain that it is not. The HOCD sufferers that I’ve conversed with and or read their writings do not appear to have anything against true homosexuals. My understanding tells me they know homosexuality is real and not a choice. So real, in fact, they fear they might be homosexual yet they’re sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
If you are gay, try to imagine fearing you might be straight to the point you question your own sexuality. Imagine the fear, the anxiety of feeling like you should be attracted to the opposite sex but the only gender that attracts you sexually is the same as you because you are gay. Imagine not being able to fully succumb to your natural orientation even with logical understanding of who you are sexually. It may sound like I’m describing religious conditioning for some homosexuals. Take religion completely out of the equation and you’d be racking your brain trying to figure this out on a constant basis. Undoubtedly you would obsess with your quest for reasoning.
I imagine this condition I’ve described does exist in a few rare individuals. I want to emphasize rare because homosexuals are already a small percentage of the population. So a homosexual with a Heterosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder would be difficult to find. But as unique as we humans are I’m sure they’re out there too.
If I’ve learned one thing from this crazy thing we call life it is that love, compassion and understanding go a long way in bettering all our lives. With everything going on the world right now we need that more now than ever before.
I noticed that this is not the first time at all that you mention this topic. Why have you decided to write about it again?
To Gerald:
You emailed me personally but I was unable to respond via email for some reason. You sounded desperate so I’m posting a response here in hope that you come back to check for updates.
I do not publish this material on treating HOCD. I’m sorry to hear of your situation and I truly hope everything works out the best for you. I really wish I could help you but the site hocdfree.com was shut down by the owner after its legitimacy was questioned by numerous blogs. Yes, I played a part in that and even corresponded directly with the site owner but it was his choice to shut it down. All I did was review the site. Nothing more, nothing less.
I sincerely hope you can find the means to the help you seek. I wish you the best, friend.
Obsessive compulsive disorder can be managed by increasing the brain serotonin level. This can be done by taking food supplements that contain L-Tryptophan.
hocd really sucks and whoever mocks It is really stupid like seriously u dont know how it is I watched a show a long time ago about OCD and I was like y do they do that y dont they just stop but now I know and It really sucks its messing with my life and ya but that zomg guy is right just shut the fuck up ur making it worse for us well me but ya
You are all probably Gay!! Just kidding! You really, are all straight, but the OCD is just mind F***ing you, because this is what OCD is all about. I know because I am a Gay Male with OCD, and none of you fit any of the profiles of the all the gay and bisexual friends and Lovers I have known all of these years, including the closeted individuals paralzyed by religious dogma ( I have experience, I am 50!). OCD feeds on fear and obsession (of course) but when you start to de-mystify the fear of being Gay and how should I put it “Lighten up” on all the sexual repression we Americans put ourselves through, and realize we are essentially sexual beings with free floating thought processes, the Gay OCD thing will start to lose it’s power and potency. So just Mellow out, we queers don’t want no Dudes or Dudettes so freaked out and upset! hehe… I had a dream the other night of this Goddess with huge Jugs and she was Hot, and gorgeous– what a trip! But I know I am not Straight, horror of horrors………. LOL, Take a deep breath you are all cool and not Gay… peace out
its funy because i’ve answered yes to most those questions, but i know i am gay since i’ve only ever get off on gay porn, i’ve made out with men and instantly gotten erections and have made out with girls and felt nothing, and have had sex with them or at least tried. the things is i have no problem being gay, but because i denied it for so long and convinced myself i was straight, im having problems now thinking i am straight and having a hard time accepting that i am gay. ive tried sleeping with girls, and i couldn’t i couldn’t even get hard. so someone please explain to me why im having anxiety even though ive already come out.
Lika also said something above about being in the closet and denying homosexuality. Maybe for some gays this denial kind of leads to a reversal of HOCD whereas the “H” isn’t for homosexual but heterosexual instead.
It seems plausible to me that a gay person could obsess over thinking they’re supposed to be straight because they stayed in the closet for a long time or denied their real sexuality for so long.
The mind is a wonderful thing that can also be very horrifying if we let the reality of life slip even just a bit. You say you convinced yourself that you are gay but you don’t say you accepted it fully. Be who you are and know yourself inside and out.
I just want to clarify this as I found this website doing research on HOCD and think there doesn’t need to exist any animosity between people who are actually gay and people with sexual obsessions. My experience with the disorder has mostly been this:
I should clarify first that I have no problem with people who are openly homosexual. I don’t see any situation in which two people end up expressing their love for each other as a bad thing. HOCD may have some symptoms in common with homophobia but it comes from a very different place.
For me, that fear manifest itself as: For my entire life I’ve been attracted to women. I’ve fallen for women, cried over women, been turned on by pictures of them. -WHAT IF I’M WRONG?- What if my entire life has been a lie? How can I know for sure? I’ve been unsuccessful in relationships maybe it’s because I’m gay and I’m such a coward and I’m lying to myself. But my disturbing gay thoughts don’t cause me any excitement in fact they only create anxiety. I NEED TO MAKE SURE so I can go on living my life normally, gay or straight. Of course this cycle perpetuates itself endlessly. The only way to deal with the thoughts is just to let them be. But that’s a lot easier said than done. Regardless, I’m just trying to clarify the difference. A gay person could have a similar crisis with the punchline being “WHAT IF I’M WRONG?” or has my whole life been a lie? That is much more fundamentally scary than anything else to the OCD sufferer.
Thanks for your comment! I absolutely agree with:
That couldn’t have been said better and should apply to all of our individual characteristics both physically and mentally. With billions of people in the world and each one of us unique only to ourselves the only way to meld a world of peace is to accept each other for who and what we are.
By the way, there is a very popular post on this blog titled “Am I Gay – Are You Gay” that has amassed a lot of comments on the subject of being gay. While it has nothing really to do with HOCD I do feel there is a connection especially for those questioning the subject of being gay. It’s no secret that the only one that can answer if they are gay is the person asking but sometimes it does help “talk” about it.