Lika Starr

I do not recommend doing this on purpose since the reaction might be not be as entertaining as it was for us. Jake, my boyfriend, and I set out to enjoy a quiet evening last night at home after a busy weekend. Jake had just gotten home from work and was really tired.

We were both hungry and he asked if I had fixed the chicken casserole that we had talked about earlier. I had planned on having dinner ready when he got home but we were out of sage, one of the main spices for the dish. So I decided I would wait until he got home and ask him if he was up for pizza. I really didn’t want to get out in the cold misty weather to go grocery shopping. I told him this and said he said, “sure pizza is fine, but you know I would have stopped by the store to pick up some sage if you would have called.”

I started feeling bad because it sounded like he really was looking forward to the casserole. I told him I’d go get the sage and it would be ready in 1 hour, tops. He tell me not to worry about it and that pizza really does sound good since we haven’t had it in a while. I made sure he was OK with it and then placed the order for a large Big Brother pizza from “pizza place” which is the best local pizza around…yummy! I told Jake the pizza should be delivered in about 45 minutes.

We snuggled up on the sofa and watched TV for about 30 minutes. His clothes were still cold and a bit damp and he kept shivering. He had mentioned taking a hot shower but he really wanted to just sit and relax for awhile. I told him he should go take the shower and that would help him warm up. By the time the pizza was delivered he’d be all warm and cozy and we could enjoy our meal.

Jake headed for the shower. We have this bathroom code that we follow closely. If one of us leaves the door open, then we know the other is welcome to join. I needed to use the restroom. We have two but I could hear the shower running in the bathroom off of our bedroom. I knew Jake had left the door open. I’m thinking “what? He knows the pizza is on its way.” But I went in anyway, if nothing more to taunt him a little. I was standing their doing my business. The shower/tub just happens to be an arms length from the toilet. When I was done he decided he wanted to play and got my shirt all wet with water. After a couple of minutes of this the doorbell rang. I remember screaming some profanities and Jake just laughing at me.

Worried about my shirt, I ripped it off and quickly washing my hands and grabbing another shirt. The doorbell rings again. I’m hurrying to the door trying to pull a clean dry tee over my head. As I open the door I finish pulling the shirt down to my waist. The pizza guy just looks at me for a second and then tells me it’s $27 and some change. I’m wearing camel color cargo shorts and the back pockets have buttons that are difficult to unfasten. I’m having trouble getting my wallet out. I notice the guy is looking down watching me fumbling for my wallet. He has this huge grin on his face and says “it’s ok, take your time.” I laugh and tell him I’m sorry but I had just splashed water all over my shirt and was trying to change on my way to the door. He laughs and says something like “It’s cool man. It’s cold out, mind if I step in?” I tell him sure, come in. Still watching me closely (almost too closely for comfort) I finally get my wallet. But I only have a $20, a $5 and two $1 bills in my wallet.

I knew I had more cash in the bedroom but I ask him if he can take a credit card. I’m just wanting to get the pizza and get it over with. He said only if I had called it in when I ordered but I could call back and let them take the card info over the phone if I wanted. I told him no, that’s alright, I have more cash in the other room. I walked off leaving him standing in the entry way.

I get to the bedroom and Jake is drying off in the bathroom. He asks if the pizza is here and I tell him yes and leave the room. Jake assumed the delivery guy had already left and walked into to living room wearing only his towel. Both were shocked but Jake being who he is didn’t turn around and leave, instead he said “hi.” The pizza guy returned the greeting and tells us his name is Ferdinand [name changed] but his friends call him Nando [name changed], then asked if we both lived here. I told him yes and gave him $35. Jake, clinching his towel with one hand, walks over to get the pizza and says, “We’re gay.” Then takes the pizza back to the sofa and sets it on the coffee table. He takes a seat and opens the box.

The delivery guy, Nando, asks if the pizza is too cold and suggests that he could call in another one. He said it wouldn’t be a problem as this was his last delivery of the day since he worked the afternoon shift. He said he didn’t live that far away and could drop it off on his way home. Jake said the pizza’s not hot but it was fine and another pizza wasn’t necessary. Then Nando, looked me in the eye and then working his focus downward with a grin, he proceeded to pass the money back to me and said it’s on the house and asked if we were sure and that he really didn’t mind. He said it would be his pleasure.

At some point during all this it wasn’t difficult to realize that Nando had other things on his mind than delivering pizza. Even though he was definitely cute and I must admit I was flattered I handed him back the money and told him it’s cool. Nando, wasn’t so quick to give up though. He asked if I had a pen. I said sure and grabbed one off the console. He took a business card from his wallet and wrote his name and number told us if we changed our minds about the pizza to give him a call. Then added “or, if you need anything else just give me a call, ok?”

I told him thanks and that we appreciated it, then opened the door for him. He almost had a disappointed look as he turned and walked out the doorway. But he smiled and said “see you later.” I swear there was a question mark at the end of that statement but I let it go.

The moment I closed the door I turned to Jake and asked “What were you thinking? And you go over there and sit on the couch with your legs spread open wearing nothing but a towel! You can almost right up your towel.” Jake laughed hard and said, “Me? Your the one running around flashing the guy!” as he looked at my shorts. I looked down and said “Oh My GOD!”

During my rush to get out of the bathroom and change out of the wet shirt I had forgotten to zip my shorts. I didn’t realize at the time that Jake had somehow managed to unfasten the button either while we were in the bathroom. Luckily those shorts have an inner waistband string that I was tied or else they probably would have fallen down to my ankles at some point during all of this. Still with open zipper and button unfastened my shorts were flared open enough to offer some exposure. To make it worse, I was not wearing underwear. Nando didn’t get a full view but he certainly saw enough to know what I’m working with.

The funny thing is that the whole time I thought Jake was flirting with the guy and just having fun with it because it was obvious the guy was hitting on us. Kind of like we might do if we’re out with friends. But all the time it was me. Of course Jake knew this the whole time and was playing along so he could have fun with it. It is funny and we laughed about it. But now, out of embarrassment, I don’t know if I’ll ever order pizza from there again. That’s too bad because it’s my favorite pizza of all.

Jake says I should call the guy and apologize but I’m afraid if I do that then it establishes some sort of friendship that might lead the guy to think I/we want more. I don’t want that and neither does Jake so we both decided that we’ll just let him go on thinking we’re just a couple of horny men that like to tease young hot pizza delivery guys that happen to be gay too.

Lika Starr