A dear friend of mine has recently come out as a lesbian. I’ve known Crystal for about 2 years now. She’s hinted in the past of her secret desires but I have never called her out on it. Even though I’ve known or at least suspected I do not feel it’s my place in this world to call anyone out. That is something that people have to come to terms with on their own. It’s nothing that can be forced or even encouraged before that person is ready emotionally.
Like many coming out stories, Crystal’s is special and finds a hidden place deep within my heart. I say that because I know firsthand the struggles that one can go through over this. For many there is a battle and a struggle that must be overcome internally. Once this internal battle is won there is a sense of a huge burden lifted and peace within one’s self. Unfortunately, for a lot of us it is the beginning of a long war. Only then for more battles to be fought over and over again with everyone else. Those external battles can be even bigger especially if the person fighting the battle is one whom values the thoughts of others and still wants to love them unconditionally even if they don’t accept who they are.
Both internal and external battles can be magnified greatly when religion is taken into account. Crystal is a Christian and is realizing her worst fears of her family and fellow worshipers after coming out to some of them but the battles are again magnified with those that simply heard the rumor.
Crystal wrote a letter to those who do not understand or otherwise downright object to her homosexuality and cast judgment. It’s not dissimilar to what many of us have said or written in the past but it is eloquent and comes from the heart. With her permission I would like to share her thoughts with you now.
Lika Starr
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Part One:
To Those Who Judge Me
Last night I couldn’t sleep, I sat there and cried, not only because of what was happening but because of the hurt that I felt. I have never in my life felt such hatred, judgment and persecution and all from people that were suppose to LOVE me unconditionally.
There are so many things that I learned at the place I called “my home”. Where I met people I called my friends, my family. And now, because they don’t agree with the “way I’ve CHOSEN to live my life”, I have been not only shunned, but hurt beyond belief.
See, I could have sworn that we were taught “judge not lest YE be judged”, “walk in love to ALL people”, “let those who have no sin cast the first stone. Or am I wrong?
In Lev. it talks about sins. And the only one you choose to look at is that it states “homosexuality is a sin”. Did you know that well known Pastors, etc are now coming to the knowledge that the ancient Greek word that was INTERPRETED into homosexuality didn’t even exist anymore when it was interpreted? and if this is one of the few verses that you use to cast judgment on me…. then why are you not judging yourself for eating shrimp, wearing red, having long hair (if you’re male), etc. Or is it JUST that one small tiny simple phrase that you have chosen to listen to? Because it’s all about what you and your church decide is right… right?
I’m sorry that you have chosen to cast me out because of my love, my feelings, my life. I never had anything but love for any of you… a pure love. But I wasn’t accepted at our church no matter how much and how long I tried to deny how I truly felt and who I truly was inside. No more. It stops here. I’ve known since I was a little girl who I loved. I lived a lie and was miserable in it for most of my life.
Your job on this earth isn’t to judge. It is to walk in a pure love towards everyone. Why do you think so many people turn away from the bible or from Christians? Because we are the worst judgment casters out there. And based on what? We use the bible – the very word of GOD – to give us a right to hate, to judge, to cast out. Maybe that
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